I was a supporting role in a popular story
But let me walk you through my own story
I was once young, just like you
Love, laughter, dreams and expectations
At least of a normal life
I found love, though betrothed
We were a good pair
And even when life got though,
We made rational decisions
When we had to cross oceans for greener pastures,
We did and life was good

Till it happened!
The worst day of my life
The day I became a widow
It was the worst day
Not because it was the worst thing that happened to me
But because it set everything in motion
Loss upon loss
And I can tell you from experience
That the worst thing that can happen to a person
Is to bury their child
If a woman who miscarries never forgets,
Imagine burying a grown child
Oh, scratch that—
Two grown children!
Oh, scratch that again
All my children- my everything!
I was not just rendered naked,
I was skinned alive

I knew sorrow all too well
Shock. Denial. Distraction.
Anger. Guilt. Regret. Numbness
Rinse and repeat- thrice!
I was numb to God
If He existed, I did not care
If He did not, better still
Every time felt like being shot
At the same spot repeatedly
How much could one person bear?
Could God not have distributed the pain more evenly?
I thought if that was how life was going to treat me,
I could as well just go back home to die

So one day, I upped to go back home
I was done living in a place that reminded me of pain
Did I mention I had two daughters-in-law?
Regardless, my plan was to go back alone
It made no sense that they had not left me at that point
If bad luck was a person, they could point to me
I urged them to go back to their homes too
After all, my plan was to go back home to die
What else was left for and of me?
Yet one of them stuck with me despite my insistence

And so we returned
Still it was nothing exciting
I only changed my location
I just planned to pass time
For the rest of whatever was left of my life
I had a feeling that the end was near
Because it made no sense
Why God would watch me go through so much
And not take my life soon after?


So I settled in with my daughter-in-law
Who sought for our daily bread
She was so kind and sweet
That I wanted her to leave me for good
She did not deserve to wallow in my pain
So when I heard she had come in contact with a close relative,
I thought that was good opportunity for her to remarry
She deserved a future and she agreed
Then my quest to get her remarried became a mission for me
Till it unexpectedly began to bring warmth to my heart again
Gradually a glimpse of a future for her gave me hope
Like the sprout of a plant
Unexpectedly bursting through the cracks of an arid soil,
My life began to blossom again
I saw one little reason to smile daily
Till there were more reasons to smile than not to
And it happened
My daughter-in-law got married again

I had been through the deepest of valleys
And I have three scars and some to show for it
Yet somehow
One step at a time, one day at a time,
God changed my story
Yes, this same God
Who I thought hated me
Who I thought was out for me
If someone had told me on my second son’s funeral
That I would smile again
That I could look back at my life
And be thankful through it all,
I would have slapped that person
With no apologies
But here I am living it out

And yes, God gave me children again
More than seven sons
In one person— my Ruth
My angel
She might have married a redeemer
But she was my restorer—
Of joy, laughter, care,
Motherhood, family and purpose
Of smiles, busyness, hope and beauty
I experienced God in my daughter
And as I gently lay little Obed down into his crib
I have determined to tell anyone who cares to listen
That after unimaginable misfortunes,
The rest of my years were indeed the best of my years

Reference: Ruth 1-4

Posted by:Oyin Akinpelu

10 replies on “Nana’s Monologue

  1. This was heartfelt. Nana’s story is the proof that God is indeed a restorer and him there’s no end to hope

  2. The life story of each of us is more random than we want to appreciate because we are not the script writer. God chooses to write for each of us a unique script yet he leaves us to feel we are the heroes of the plot or others see us as the villain of plots we all know nothing about. Naomi is a hero of resilience and patience:; Ruth the hero of compassion and loyalty; Boaz the hero of responsible kinsman. Much as I love Ruth and Naomi, it’s Boaz for me – maybe as a man

  3. Nana’s story hit me in a way I can’t explain.
    …there’s always light at the end of the tunnel

  4. Naomi’s story so beautiful written. This is truly behind the verses. God is faithful through the good and the bad times.

  5. Thank you Oyin for working so hard to bring out this story close to us. I enjoyed reading it and just imagining if these things happen to me. Life can be really hard and sad. Naomi suffered indeed. May God help us to keep trusting and hoping in him no matter our lot.
    Maranatha, come Lord Jesus

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